Today Kim and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary, it was such an amazing day and one I often wish I could relive again and again. It’s actually a bit insane for me to think about that day and how much things have changed since.
Thinking back over the last two years made me realize that our couplehood days are coming to a quick end. I know there will be a lot of changes once the baby comes but one of the biggest I’ve thought about (especially lately) is the impact it will have on our relationship and the changes that will happen to our marriage after pregnancy.
As a soon to be “newbie mom” I’ve asked the question to some of my “veteran mom” friends and I have received many different responses, ranging from; “prepare to never see your husband” to, “you will still have a lot of time together it will just be a different type of time”.
The truth is I really love my husband and although I have accepted the fact that our relationship and the time we spend together will change, I am not willing to give it up.
As a first time mom there are so many unknowns, changes that will happen and compromises that will have to be made but I don’t want to compromise my relationship with Kim. Is this naïve or unrealistic?
I’ve put a lot of thought into it, and this is my plan for trying to maintain some form of “couplehood” when our baby arrives:
Doing it together
I don’t envision a weekly or even monthly date night with my husband when the baby first arrives but we still need time to actually be together. Even if it is not 100% alone time, making dinner, taking the baby for a walk or even putting the baby to bed is time we can be together. Experiencing the joys of becoming a family and bonding with our baby will help to strengthen our relationship as we experience parenthood together.
Staying focused on what really matters
Our new family, which means working through the tough times together and accepting there are going to be a lot of new challenges but knowing, together as a team, we can conquer anything.
Accepting it’s not going to be easy
I think the adjustment of having a new baby and all the changes that are going to happen will be tough. There will be days with little sleep and less patience that will be hard. Reminding myself how much I love him, “this too shall pass” and that it’s okay to have bad days, will help to get through some of the tough days ahead (I hope).
What are your thoughts? Should I just accept the fact that our relationship will change? What was the biggest change you experienced in your relationship when your baby was born? I would love to hear your experiences below.
You Might Also Enjoy
Last year I wrote a post, ‘Why I think mommy meet-ups are overrated.’ It’s funny how things change. At the time I was still a “newish” mom. Trying to find my confidence through learning to trust my intuition, which was difficult for me. When Noble was a baby and I was a new mom I […]Read More ›
Happy New Year! I love this time of year, a fresh start, new opportunities and possibilities. Although I’m not not a big believer of resolutions I do believe this is the ideal time for reflection and intention setting. A time to look back at last year, what went well, what did not and changes you […]Read More ›
With less than a week before the holidays as a mom of a toddler I will admit it does not always seem like the most wonderful time of the year. With the countdown on it seems as though there are not enough hours in the day to get through the never ending to do list. […]Read More ›