Well this was a milestone week, I hit six months! I’ve been looking forward to this for a while. I’m not exactly sure why. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m getting closer to the end and if I’ve made it this far surely I can make it another few months.
The problem I never considered with hitting the six month mark is that I actually look six months pregnant, which means everyone knows I’m having a baby. So why is this a problem?
Well once they know, they usually have some kind of advice or personal experience they want to share. Some are just generally excited and want to say congratulations but many others want to share their “words of wisdom.”
“Enjoy it now, you are not going to have a second to yourself for the next 20 years.” “I hope you are sleeping lots, because once that baby comes…” “Spend as much time as you can with your husband, you won’t be alone together, ever again.” And it goes on and on and on…
I know that they are just simply trying to help me and I truly appreciate their good intentions. But, the truth is it totally stresses me out. I sometimes feel like I’m walking around with an, “I need free advice” sticker on my back.
Then of course once someone shares a story or experience with me I begin thinking and inevitably stressing about it. Will that happen to me? Was it really that painful? Is that even possible?
So this week I decided that it was time to stop the free advice train. Well maybe not stop, because let’s be honest it’s a hard train to stop, but I’m getting off.
I’m sorry but I don’t want to hear about how you had the world’s worst labour. How you did not sleep for three months. Or even, how my life is never going to be the same.
Am I in denial? Maybe. The truth is I don’t know if I’m going to be in labour for three hours or three days. But, no one else does either. Making the never ending “what if” lists and stressing about it is not helpful.
So here’s my best piece of advice.
Don’t listen to the advice you get.
Everyone is different. Everyone has a different situation. Everyone has different experiences. And everyone has different ways of dealing with their own situation and experiences.
You will be fine.
You will figure it out.
Babies don’t come with manuals but neither does life and you have got this far.
Know that you are not always going to have all the answers but, be confident that you can figure it out.
What’s the “best free advice” you’ve had since being pregnant or being a mom? Was there one person that was always able to stress you out with their “words of wisdom”? I would love to hear your experiences below.